Where does confidence come from?

July 26, 2021

Giulia is an accomplished counsellor and coach - and her niche is pure genius.

When I stumbled across the work that she does - I was genuinely moved.

In the coaching space, there's a lot of women helping women. There's a collective tribal movement - which (don't get me wrong) I think is great! But as Steve Biddulph says, within this space, the best a man can do is to cheer from the sidelines - it's not a movement FOR HIM.

Women seem so much better at uniting to support one another - their success, it seems, is found together. Whereas men, never having had to fight the same battles for equality as women have, don't seem to have that comradery, or any compulsion to care whether their fellow man is winning or struggling. Men typically don't help one another as much or, as the cliche goes, they don't like asking for directions!

It's inevitable then, that when you feel that you have to win on your own, you leave yourself isolated, lonely, and (ironically) far less likely to succeed than if you had connected with a mentor, a coach, or even a friend. 😞

And that's where Giulia comes in.

Today's podcast guest is Giulia Fiore, a certified counselor, and coach working in Sydney, she has dedicated her life to help men improve their relationships, work performance, and overall wellbeing. She is the founder of Confidence to Achieve, offering relationship coaching, counseling, and performance coaching. She also works with organisations and teams as a consultant, speaker, and workshop facilitator.

Giulia is the 'secret weapon' for many men smart enough to enlist her support and today we're going to be unpacking her signature coaching zone, an essential ingredient for anyone's success - confidence building. For this two-part episode, Giulia and I have put together our Top 5 Tips for Building Confidence to help you wherever you are in achieving your career and personal goals.

Come and meet Giulia Fiore...

Podcast highlights:

[03:23] Why work on confidence in men: Confidence is often misunderstood, often mistaken for self-esteem. When you have confidence, you can achieve your goals. Without it, we don't go out into the world and achieve our potential and goals.

[05:29] Confidence is largely dependent on your environment. Confidence is about valuing the effort and courage of trying instead of the actual outcome.

[06:48] Know your strengths. It's a journey to understand your personality - your blueprint and how to build from that. Self-discovery is the first step to confidence.

[09:30] Know what you're doing. One in four Australians experience social anxiety. The fear of rejection is so deeply entrenched in us. But the more we know what we are doing, the more confident we can be.

[11:48] On some things, yes you can say, that's the way I am. But on some things, we just need to learn. Accept what you cannot change but change what you can if it's bothering you.

[12:30] Covid restrictions are not helping with our social skills. But we cannot skip the measures for our social skills. We need social interactions for our mental health but not everyone will get them when you're working from home all the time.

[14:10] Approaches to boosting your confidence about your career: Recognize what it is you bring to your workplace. It is a strengths-based approach. Work on emotional regulation and leadership.

[15:30] Leadership work is about empathy. It's actually about treating others how they want to be treated. It's about understanding what moves people.

[17:07] Top Five Tips for Building Confidence: (1) Address self-talk. Especially if it's diminishing. YOU should be your own cheerleader.

[19:31] Advice to parents: Be mindful. We all make mistakes. We all try our best with the tools that we've got. Every small action affects your child. Emotional regulation has a ripple effect in other areas of your life. Being mindful will help you level up.